Sunday, September 10, 2006

Shaking the Hand of Rory Liffey

Probably the most appropriate picture I’ve ever used.

Tidying up the week.

Forgive me yeomen, for I have failed. Yesterday my son shook the hand of Rory Liffey.

I’m not going to explain that for the moment. There is a risk that you might think that I am going back on my comment in Sean’s Blog. Although, I must admit, I’m close to it, but this entry is more of a confessional. A chance to pick up on a few loose threads and pull at them to see what unravels. (Note 1)

Last Sunday, a story broke that shows us what makes this country truly great and puts pay to all of the grand conspiracy theorists views on Britain. The BBC had already run a story about how councils used microchips in Wheelie Bins to weigh how much rubbish people throw out rather than re-cycle. A good idea. The more people re-cycle the better it is for our planet.

Landfill sites are not pretty. If we are serious about saving the planet for future generations, recycling is the only answer.

Last Sunday, the “Mail on Sunday” ran the story under a headline suggesting that we were being bugged in the style of the East German Stasi. In my attempt to stop myself going of on a rant and my blood pressure going through the roof. I’m going to aim for the silver lining here.

Two things make nonsense of the “Mail on Sunday” headline. Freedoms in the UK are alive and well. The first demonstration is that the story was printed at all. The second was that the evil plot was uncovered at a Rotary Club dinner when a council employee took a little to much of the falling down water. (Note 2)

Helen Mirren in 1973. Helen Mirren today. I promise you this has nothing to do with the cult of celebrity.

For those of you thinking of popping down to the local Odeon this week, may I issue you with a warning?

It seems that Helen Mirren has got a new film out, The Queen. I’m afraid this caused me to reach for the dried frog pills. I’m not saying this is a bad film. From the clips I have seen, Helen Mirren seems to capture the mannerisms and attitude of HM Queen Liz perfectly. It’s just that Helen Mirren has got a bit of a reputation for getting her kit off on celluloid. (Note 3)

Call me a touch sensitive, but I find the idea of seeing Helen Mirren as Liz preparing for a touch of bedroom gymnastics with Phil the Greek is something that should carry a health warning – despite Helen still being in good shape for an OAP.

Being a good parent, I would make sure that both my children are warned about the film. Not that it is a film that I would think is to their tastes.

Well, perhaps I’m not such a good parent. Sure, I think they listen and make sure that Percy doesn’t come out to play without an overcoat, but I think I may have failed somewhere along the way with my son.

Yesterday morning, despite my best efforts to persuade him otherwise, he popped a few things into a red handkerchief knotted to a pole and headed off to London to play poker.

He arrived back at ten o’clock this morning.

I hope that means he is good at poker. Somehow though, I can’t help but worry when he tells me that he got to shake the hand of Rory Liffey (No, he isn’t a porn star). Rory Liffey is a professional poker player. Now is there anyone out there who can comfort me that this is somehow better than if he spent the night with a porn star? (Note 4)

From 14th June, the industry standard Crozzy Standard has been applied to footnotes.

NOTE 1: Which may well be my sanity. Still, I’ve stocked up on the dried frog pills and Mattress Madge has leant me an ex-demonstration model divan, so I might catch up on my sleep and be a touch less cranky. I had a little test drive of the divan this afternoon, surprisingly comfortable if you don’t plug it in. Click to return

NOTE 2 : In one of those strange links of fate, I notice that the Rotary Club achieved some controversy in the way it dealt with the Nazi regime in Germany in the 1930s. There is probably a lot of extra reading to be done here if I had the energy. Click to return

NOTE 3: As a teenager returning from the pub on a Friday night, one of the first things I’d check was the TV listings for the late night film on BBC2. If it was French or starred Helen Mirren, then I’d stay up for the pink wobbly bits. If not, I’d go to bed. Click to return

NOTE 4: He also played with a Chinese professional poker player. He couldn’t tell me his name, but was sure that he was famous because his picture was on the front of a magazine at the cashiers office. Now I’m convinced that HE must have been a porn star. Click to return

OK so he may not have been a porn star, but my son ain’t no grasshopper either!.

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