I woke up this mornin'

I had this wonderful idea that I would kick off today's entry with a little rhyme in the style of the blues. I'm sure you know what I mean....

"I woke up this mornin' and my little doggy was gorn.

I woke up this mornin' and my little doggy was gorn.

There was a wet patch on the carpet, and a big one in my shoe."

You know how my mind works, I had something I wanted to eventually get round to writing about, but I didn't want to provide too many clues.

It will come as no surprise to learn that I do not own a dog and therefore it couldn't have scarppered after leaving a calling card in my footwear. (see Note 1).

It is probably no shock to my voluminous yeomen that I was to get a little sidetracked while looking for examples of blues verse and I found this particular diity describes as 'salacious'

See that spider crawlin' up that wall 

See that spider crawlin' up that wall

He's crawlin up there to get his ashes hauled.

Let me be your little dog till your big dog comes 

Let me be your little dog till your big dog comes

And when the big dog gets here, tell him what the puppy done done

Rebecca, Rebecca, get your big legs off of me 

Rebecca, Rebecca, get your big legs off of me

It may be sending you baby but its worryin' the hell out of me.

So I have been sat here staring at that rhyme and wondering about the salacious content. To begin with, I thought I must have got the meaning of the word salacious wrong, but the dictionary confirmed what I thought it meant. 

sa·la·cious Pronunciation: \sə-lā-shəs\ Function: adjective

Etymology: Latin salac-, salax, from salire to move spasmodically, leap — more at sally

Date: circa 1645 arousing or appealing to sexual desire or imagination lascivious, lecherous, lustful; sa·la·cious·ly adverb sa·la·cious·ness noun

The first reading left me cold. I turned the lights down low and tried again with the same results. I tried lighting a few candles and touch of Mantovani on the hifi and my loins failed to even twitch.

Reading it fast or slow made no difference. Imagining it sung to a classic blues backing track just had me scratching my head. (See Note 2)

In an act of singular desperation, I even tried to sing it myself (see Note 3)

I have to admit defeat. I thought I was a man of the world, a man with an euphemism for every occasion, but this lyric has me well and truly stumped. What on earth does it mean by 'ashes hauled'? Would I enjoy it?

It looks like song lyrics, especially blues song lyrics, hit the same dark hole in my Psyche as poetry.

Perhaps I should just write about my original topic, if only I could remember what it was....

Note 1 : We do have a psychotic cat that although being an absolute model of virtue in all matters pertaining to the toilet, finds numerous other ways to amuse herself. Her current favourite is waiting until you are asleep then pushing herself under the bottom of the duvet to slash and bite your toes.

Note 2 : Mainly about how the waiters could dance like that without spilling any of the beer.

Note 3 : Sadly, if the microphone on my computer wasn't a bit dodgy before, after a couple of bars it had well and truly raised the white flag.