Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Never Lick a Diplomat

While the fact that it is Shrove Tuesday hasn't passed me by, I have found myself craving chocolate all day.

It all started when I got in this morning and one of the other early birds was handing out Cadbury's Creme Eggs. I wasn't going to look gift confectionery in the mouth, so I didn't mention that he must watch his stress levels as he obviously operating at the wrong end of Lent.

With great self-control, I put the chocolate treat to one side. You see, I prefer my creme eggs with my afternoon coffee. They are destined to be eaten according to ritual, slowly, deliberately with lots of licking to slowly strip away the sweet. milky chocolate from the pointy end.

Only after the breakthrough is made does the tongue come into it's own, probing into the exposed crevice, seeking out the sickly white and yellow creme from within.

Only when the very last scrap has been hunted down and consumed is the rest of the chocolate eaten. I stuff it all into my mouth and suck on it until the inside of my mouth is coated in the smooth milk chocolate.

Then comes the truly decadent moment. I take a sip of strong dark coffee and let it cut through the sweet chocolate and with an involuntary sigh, let it slip down my throat. Luxury.

Yet, my ganache yeomen, it is neither chocolate or pancakes that had my synapses sparking today. Today, I find myself thinking about diplomats.

It is not that I have developed any wish to toss or lick a diplomat.

It was a joke that arrived in my email. Before I share it with you, I should stress that I do so out of appreciation of the humour and not in anyway wishing to inflame tensions or show support for any particular faction.

The Palestinian Representative at the UN rose to speak. He paused and looked around at the other assembled diplomats.

'Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Moses.' he said and a gentle murmur went around the hall.

'When he struck the rock and it brought forth water, he thought, "What a good opportunity to have a bath!"

'He removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water.

'When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. An Israeli had stolen them.'

As he paused, the furious Israeli representative jumped up furiously and shook his fist, 'What are you talking about?' He shouted. 'The Israelis weren't there then.'

The Palestinian representative nodded and looked towards the chairman.

'Good, and now that we have made that clear, I will begin my speech.'

Well, it made me smile.

I have always been enthralled by the world of diplomats and diplomacy. I think mainly because the faulty clutch between my brain and my mouth means my diplomatic skills are limited. I guess that is one reason why I am enjoying reading the FCO blogs, especially the one written by Philip Barclay and Grace Mutandwa, the British diplomats in Zimbabwe.

It makes me wonder, does anyone out there know of any other countries where their diplomats write blogs?


Rose said...

Are you sure you were eating a creme egg? lol

Simon said...

I'm pretty sure it was. It wass covered with garish coloured foil. Either your mind is subject to synaptic tangents or you frequent some very specialist shops.

Rose said...

Creme eggs are not THAT good!lol
As for specialist shops, I don't even like chocolate...