Monday, January 01, 2007

Taking on a Springtime Tinge

Out of strength came forth sweetness.

A holiday essential it seems.

Well, my delicate yeomen, there are a few perks in being the nominated driver on New Year’s Eve. For a start my alarm clock had a gentle relaxing tick, tock, tick, tock. I dare say there are those of you out there who over indulged last night who found that the Oh God of hangovers has turned your normally mild mannered timepiece into a hammer and an anvil. Some will blame spiked drinks (Note 1), but I’ll have none of that. As a person who was so annoyingly good while the booze flowed freely – I insist on my opportunity to be incredibly smug.

And you look in mirror and you see you have suffered enough.

Before you started on the falling over juice you should have drunk a pint of milk and before you went to bed you should have guzzled down a pint of water. And to polish off that lingering sensation of someone inserting red hot needles into your brain via your eyeballs you should try a couple of slices of toast and golden syrup (Note 2).

Another bonus is that my memory of the evening remains unimpaired and the photographs turned out well. (Note 3).

As midnight approached, the host, not trusting his wristwatch, turned on the TV to catch the countdown to the New Year. The TV was tuned to Jools Holland’s Hootennanny. We did the countdown, sung some song by an obscure dyslexic Scots poet and did the kissing and hugging thing – but the TV was left on.

This, my fine yeomen is a gentleman known as Seasickness Steve.

In fact, I’m glad it was. There were two very memorable events on that show. One was a remarkable performance by Adrian Edmondson who sang a Jazz version of Anarchy in the UK by the Sex Pistols (Note 4).

The other was a performance by a guy called Seasick Steve. When you get five minutes you really must explore that site and listen to some of the music in the free downloads section. If his performance last night is anything to go on – the guy will be a star!

From 14th June, the industry standard Crozzy Standard has been applied to footnotes.

NOTE 1: Face facts, no matter how much you drank you would notrice if someone had placed that waste disposal that’s churning away in your stomach in your glass. Click to return

NOTE 2: According to some radio host stand in (the normal host being a guest on some New Year’s Eve TV show), this has been proved the best way to drive off a hangover. Personally, I find that flat coke and paracetamol works a treat. Sadly, I cannot find a link for either of these cures so you’ll just have to take my word for it. Click to return

NOTE 3: I’m not posting the actual photographs just yet – there is still plenty of time for those concerned to stuff a brown envelope with pretty coloured pictures of Her Majesty and maybe facilitate some over zealous deletion of particular images. Click to return

NOTE 4: Not only was the performance good – it was also funny. The whole thing was an absolute hoot which with more to drink could easily have led to a moist leg interlude. Click to return

 I’m keeping the picture of the telegraph pole until I can find something better.

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