Monday, December 18, 2006

Seasonal Water Shortage

Christmas decorations in Oundle.

I suppose I should start making the occasional nod towards the season.

I wish to throw myself upon the mercy of my good yeomen and make a staggering admission. I cannot spell. I’m thankful for the spellcheckers included on computers because without them I doubt any of you would understand a word of my ramblings. (Note 1) All of this means that I am not particularly good at noticing poor spelling from others. I can meander along in almost blissful ignorance of poor spelling from others.

Yet last night even I spotted an absolute howler! On the BBC no less! Songs of Praise last night broadcast a candle lit carol service. There is nothing like belting out a few carols to put you in the mood for Christmas and to start to build the appetite for numerous different turkey dishes.

Blood red sky over Portman Road

If, like me, you find yourself in the mood for a few Karaoke carols, turn up the speakers on your PC and CLICK HERE for one of the very best. (Note 2) The nice man at the BBC (the very nice man, the very, very nice man), knowing that tens of thousands of people are sat at home singing along to the carols – provides subtitles. I was doing my bit, but suddenly collapsed into a quivering, giggling heap when the lyric was shown as :-

”Nowell, Nowell, Nowell, Nowell, Born is the King of Israel.”

It looks like global warming is impacting on Christmas. Oh, and if you are wondering, I got red squiggles under Nowell but Noel passed the spellchecker.


Now there is a challenge for the Yahoo 360 update. If I got that right you should have a little music to get you in the mood for a little retail retaliation.

If you have a man in your life who has everything or, if you come from Bishop Auckland, maybe I can offer up a suggestion to aid you on your Christmas shopping? Perhaps I can offer up this tasteful delight. (Note 3).

This delightful lady has had a profound effect on our lives and is considered to be a leading light in her field. December 9th saw the centenary of her birth.

And finally, Cyril, I should not leave you to go on your merry way without providing you with the answer to yesterday’s homework. I’m not exactly sure that I should – after all there wasn’t what you call a flood of completed answers on my desk this morning. At least Patterson Minor had the courtesy to come up with an excuse, but not a particularly good one given that the digestive tract of the Hebridean Salamander just couldn’t cope with a whole exercise book.

You already know that that sweet old lady shown above is Commander Grace Hopper of the US Navy. She is affectionately known as the “mother” of COBOL - the most widely used programming language on computer mainframes. The article is well worth a read.

From 14th June, the industry standard Crozzy Standard has been applied to footnotes.

NOTE 1: My reliance on the spell checker is such that I write all of my blogs (HTML tags and all) in Word before I copy them to Yahoo or my mirrorblog. When I first started doing this, I thought the red squiggly underlining was something to do with someone leaving the crayons lying about and the stupid paperclip getting bored and doodling all over the page. Click to return

NOTE 2: I just love the way that people insist on portraying Polar Bears as lovely cuddly little beasts. These animals are classified as man’s only predator. Although that little gif shows them smiling and skating around the curvaceous figure skater, in real life she would very quickly become Christmas Dinner for the bears. And if you think that I am being morbid and spoiling the spirit of Christmas then CLICK HERE. Click to return

NOTE 3: Struggling with that Bishop Auckland comment? Allow me to put you out of the misery and direct you to the reviews section for that marvel of modern consumerism. I only hope that Kelly’s boyfriend realises what he is letting himself in for and is taking the vitamin tablets. Click to return

The cute little bird is still here. He’s drinking at the bar because there is no well for him to get water.

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