Good yeomen, I have been severed. Ruthlessly cut off from my internet connection. It is a rather surreal experience. Mind you, I have managed to do a little bit of reading and remind myself why I don’t watch much TV.
Yet today, a nice man from BT (nay the very nice man; the very, very nice man) fixed my connection. Yet, far more importantly, a package arrived at my door! (Note 1)
Yes! Good Yeomen, my prize has arrived. It took eleven days to get to me, but it has arrived.
The parcel said express, but that was a little bit of a fib. It took eleven days to arrive. It didn’t help that the delivery driver took three attempts to find the house. At some point, in his utter frustration he sat down on the parcel and a good weep.
Lying on top of the parcel was my winners certificate. This is only the second time in my life that I actually qualified for a certificate. The first was for the 50 metres breast stroke, but that didn’t really count as I cheated and walked along the bottom for the last 10 metres.
Kerry, the domestic goddess, did a fantastic job with the packaging. The presentation of the tempting fare being worthy of an award in itself.
The pancakes arrived in amazingly good condition given the traumas of crossing the Atlantic and having to experience Leicester. They managed to remain complete (well nearly all of them anyway) and moist.
There were bonus items in there too! Chocolates and jam! Specialities of Dayton, Ohio.
Sadly, not all survived. There was a pot of maple syrup that didn’t survive being sat upon by the delivery man. The syrup leaked all over the tourist brochures, which made them impossible to read.
And the real admission is that while the pancakes looked good, they didn’t exactly smell that wonderful. I fear they had gone past their best. A little careful arrangement hides some of the little green spots. And thankfully, Takamichi Nakamoto has yet to perfect his invention.
From 14th June, the industry standard Crozzy Standard has been applied to footnotes.
NOTE 1: According to the tracking on the parcel, this was actually the third attempt of the delivery man to find me house. This is lead to the synaptic tangent of the opening image of Brigadoon. I’ve come to the conclusion that when I am disconnected from the internet, my house vanishes into the mists. Click to return