Wikimedodah

Simon Holder (born 13 May 1643) is Meritorious Practitioner of Murphy's Law at the University of Fotheringhay, a post for which he has drawn a salary for many years without anybody knowing what he actually does. Holder recently noticed that too many pairs of his trousers has taken to doing impressions of cheap hotels. A noted expert in alternative realities, it is rumored that he has discovered the means to escape the constraints of time and space, although he has yet to publish on the subject.

Contents [hide] 1 Biography 2 Education 3 Early Life 4 The 18th Century 5 The 19th Century 6 The early 20th Century 7 Dried Frog Pills 8 Evar 9 Notes 10 References 11 External links

// Biography

Holder claims to be born somewhere in England on 13 May, 1643. While being very insistent that the 13^th May is his birthday, he has nothing to support his claim to being the world’s oldest man. He has a brother and sister who are both over 315 years younger than himself, a fact he puts down to his parents discovering yoga and monkey gland injections in their twilight years. After school, Holder held short lived careers as a Forest Ranger and in Local Government before finding that computers have no discrimination towards reality hopping.

All of Holder’s theories on reality have been published on the internet. It was by pure chance that these were discovered by luminaries at St Wayne’s College,  the University of Fotheringhay, who offered him the chair of the newly formed Reality Studies school.

Education

Holder came very late to education, starting school in the 1960s. He attended a number of educational establishments where his teachers described him as ‘not all there’, ‘somewhere else’ and in ‘a little world all of his own’. The school reports from his early education are currently in a brown cardboard box in a very safe place to prevent competitor academics gaining access as they are believed to provide a clue as how he manages to slip between realities. After failing at a wide range of schools, he eventually finished his education at Devizes School, were it is claimed that the teachers occupied as many alternate realities as he did.

Early Life

Very little is known of Holder’s early life. A lot has been written in the media about the claims made by some embroidery circles that he alone was responsible for the Restoration of the English Monarchy. Holder himself claims that he had never met the women involved and that it isn’t his likeness in the engravings.

 The 18^th Century

Nothing of note happened in the 18^th Century, but it could be that Holder had a cold the day they did that in history.

The 19^th Century

Holder did military service in the 46^th Queens Hosiery. He entered in the ranks and after serving for 40 years in India and Afghanistan, emerging as the country’s most decorated major. This is mainly due to the relationships with the local embroidery circles. It is probably his exploits with the young embroiderers of Bangalore that would later be embellished by the Lord of the Evil Empire  to try and undermine his role as confidant to un-named member of the royal family.

After military service, Holder returned to London where he worked as osteopath to the stars enjoying affairs with many music hall stars of the era. His career reached it’s peak in 1894, but a scandal involving a young chorus girl, exotic fruit, two small lizards and a malfunctioning butter churn in a suite at the Ritz Hotel meant him leaving England to live the life of a hermit in the Balkans.

While practicing as an osteopath, he formed a lifelong friendship with Ethaniel Nightswerve, the brewing and embrocation magnate. This relationship lasted for many years and it is Holder who is credditted with providing Nightswerve with the confidence to set up his first brewery. Holder also invested £50 in the newly formed company and the profits from this venture is believed to have funded his early amphibian research.

The early 20^th Century

It is widely acknowledged that the authorities in Europe have hushed up that Holder very nearly prevented World War I. On the eve of the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria, Holder was called to the Archduke’s private apartments and called upon to give him a reading of his bumps. According to Holder, he advised the Archduke he would be killed if he ventured out the next day. Official sources deny this saying that he was advised to ‘wear an extra vest in case he caught his death of a cold’.

Dried Frog Pills

With the Serbian Secret Service hot on his tail, Holder was smuggled out of the Balkans by a young Chief Inspector McCrindle Barleymow Honeydew-Fforbes of Old Scotland Yard. MI5, worried that Holder could destabilise the war effort, sent Holder to Peru. There he noticed the local custom of licking toads seemed to leave the population in a state of calm equilibrium with a very laid back attitude to life. After pairing up with a passing double-jointed anthropologist, he decided to perform an in depth study of the various amphibians and their therapeutic properties.

Due to a particularly energetic and long duration session of bedroom gymnastics with the aforementioned anthropologist, a set of toads put in the oven to warm, were forgotten. By the time that Holder returned to them, they had been reduced to a fine powder. A passionate argument ensued during which various substances were thrown across the laboratory, one of which, when exposed to fumes from Ethaniel Nightswerve’s Thoracic liniment,  caused a reaction with the toad. Subsequent testing showed that in pill form, the resulting concoction proved to be even more beneficial than the licking of toads and did not make the subject prone to tongue warts.

Evar

Holder is the mentor and agent to the Latvian downhill skier, Evar.

Notes

1. ^ Interview with a legend, Pippa Greatchest, The Guardian UK, 2002-10-16. Retrieved 2008-02-14
   
2. ^ Embrocation – The Recession Proof Investment, Harry Porten Lemon, The Financial Times, 2009-02-11. Retrieved 2009-03-06.
   
3. ^  Embroidery in Warfare. The Times Educational Supplement. 15 October 1997. http://www.the times.co.uk/news/arts/embriodery/scandle_in_needpoint.html. 
   
4. ^ Best 360 Evar!, The Sun UK, 2006-08-23. Retrieved 2008-02-14

References

• Therapeutic Amphibian Extractions   Dr Wilfred Clapman. Oxford University Press. Retrieved 2005-01-13.
  
• Legends of the Yard, Socialist Worker, Magenta Poppet, 2000-10-12. Retrieved 2007-08-27.

External links

• The Official Simon Holder Website Website red1hols.blogspot.com/
  
• How to Embroider History Richard Cavendish looks at the role of Tapestry in Modern European History.

Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simon Holder"

May The Farce Be With You

A very British view.

I have to say sorry to all my pasteurised yeomen for having to split my Cannes film blog over two different days. The truth is that there was just so many different synapses sparking, I just couldn’t fit everything in!

Still, if you all maintaining that comfortable and serene air associated with being watertight, I shall attempt to continue with the synaptic chunder. (Note 1)

Ever since I can remember, people have talked about ‘The British Film Industry’ with a kind of hushed reverence usually reserved for a much loved national icon admitted to a hospice.

The British Film industry seems to be in a perpetual state of decline that will result in its demise. Then, just as people start to dust off the memorabilia for eBay, along comes a Four Weddings, a Train Spotting, Full Monty or Love Actually that somehow allows the industry to stagger from its deathbed and wheeze its way through a few more years. (Note 2)

We tend to overlook the fact that us Brits are quite good at making movies. In fact, we have a track record of producing some of the biggest movies of all time.

Hmmm, there are a few sceptical glances coming my way – especially from my Merkin readers.

You may have noticed that this week saw the amazing anniversary of the first Star Wars film. You may not have realised it, but that film was made in Britain – but is not considered a British film. David Prowse, an Englishman, played one of the most famous characters in that film, Darth Vader. (Note 3)

If that doesn’t convince you, then remember that the James Bond films are made at Pinewood Studios.

The thing is that making films is an expensive business. The only people who can afford to make huge blockbusters are the big entertainment corporations. They have the money and will make their films wherever offers them the best deal. The cost of the films can influence their content. Film making is a business and the aim of the business is to make money. So the plots of films has more to do with encouraging people to watch than to try and break new ground or educate.

Which is why the big film companies back their films with big publicity budgets and why the big blockbusters get all the column inches in the entertainment papers.

The bigger the business, the more money they have to spend and the bigger risks they can afford to take. Sadly, this means that in Britain we cannot match the risks and the budgets of the big multinationals like Sony. Without risk, there is no reward and we can only watch in disgust as our good ideas such as the Ealing Comedy, The Ladykillers is remade by the big studios.

Ironically, the Ealing studios which made the famous Ealing comedies was sold to the BBC in 19955, the year that saw the original and acclaimed ‘Ladykillers’ film hit cinemas. Perhaps it is due to unique way that the BBC is funded by use of a licence fee rather than the need to obtain funding from commercials that allows the BBC to produce and air challenging programs.

If you have the time and you actually have the access rights, I suggest that you have a look at The idea that they will re-make the St Trinian’s franchise fills me with both Andrew Marr’s History of Modern Britain. If you cannot actually see the program, then you can have a look at the BBC Website associated with the series.

The first episode used the satire of the Ealing comedies to illustrate some of the different events in Britain after World War Two. It is an amazing story that starts only a dozen or so years before I was born – and yet I learned so much. If you can, I thoroughly recommend you watch it.

From 14th June 2006, the industry standard Crozzy Standard has been applied to footnotes.

NOTE 1: I’m beginning to think I may have stumbled over a new classic. I think that is so much better than the rather old and boring cliché of “If you are sitting comfortably, I’ll begin…” Perhaps I should start a campaign to make it compulsory at all public library reading hours. Click to return

NOTE 2: Although such is the state of mind of us Brits that as soon as a film becomes a commercial success, we feel the need to ridicule it and generally belittle any achievement. I have no explanation why this is my effervescent yeomen. It is just the way of the Brits. We will cheer the underdog until we are puce in the face and our throats are red raw – but as soon as the underdog becomes a winner we cannot wait to bring them crashing down. Click to return

NOTE 3: David Prowse hails from the English West Country. His natual accent is a lovely West Country lilt, which is often stereotyped as being that of a country farmer. Poor David Prowse became nicknamed as Darth Farmer as a result. If you follow this link, you will see what I mean as it allows you to link to an interview with him. Just close your eyes and imagine Darth Vader – it soesn’t really work. Click to return

Oh dear, I appear to have missed out a cryptic clue. I am truly sorry. Never mind, I am sure that my firm-thighed yeomen will still be able to continue our little synaptic romp.

TECHNORATI TAGS : Ealing ; History ; Marr ; Film ; BBC.

Marking the Day

As empty vessels make the loudest sound, so they that have the least wit are the greatest blabbers.

That rather fossilised philosopher up there is Plato. My more experienced yeomen will be bracing themselves for a rather deep and meaningful argument over what constitutes democracy or some wondrous synaptic tangents that link him to Ernest Marples. But no. My intention today is far more important. Today, I shall be meandering my way to highlight a far more important fact.

There is a link between Plato and Ernest Marples, but it is so tenuous that it will have you all crying foul. Indeed, it may well have you reaching for pitchforks and flaming torches and laying siege to my humble abode. For you see, as I drifted along the backwaters of the internet, I came across a rather unnerving claim. I came across a site that listed the birthdays of famous people. On that site, I found that they had Plato’s birthday listed as today. This rather surprised me as I’d always thought that such a fact had eluded scholars. Indeed, I crossed checked it with wikipedia and they were not even sure of the year he was born.

Rather than delve deeper into dry and dusty research, I just decided to accept the fact. (Note 1) There is plenty else to celebrate on this day after all.

For a start, it is the birthday of Delectable Pet - who remains a sprightly ninety-nine. Happy Birthday Pet, I hope you have a wonderful day that is full of the most wonderful gifts! Rumour has it that later today some lucky people will be treated to a recital of Abba’s greatest hits on the autoharp. Truly, this is the hottest ticket in town.

Although I cannot be sure about you sharing your birthday with Plato, I am on safer ground when I suggest that you share your birthday with Fats Waller, Alexander Pope and Elizabeth Fry.

In fact the 21st of May provides a number of interesting potential synaptic tangents. (Note 2)

Charles A. Lindbergh landed his Spirit of St. Louis near Paris, completing the first solo airplane flight across the Atlantic Ocean and Amelia Earhart, lands in a pasture in Derry, Northern Ireland to become the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean. Andrei Sakharov, the Nobel Peace Prize-winning Soviet scientist and dissident, was born.

In years to come, today will be marked by the sad news of the fire on the Cutty Sark.

Most important though remains the fact that it is the birthday of Delectable Pet - so pop over to her page and wish her many happy returns for the day.

For those of you who are wondering, the link to Ernest Marples is that on this day in 1958 he announced the introduction of telephone direct dialling making it possible to make a phone call in Britain without the aid of an operator – yes it really was less than 50 years ago, see how quickly things have moved on.

From 14th June 2006, the industry standard Crozzy Standard has been applied to footnotes.

NOTE 1: Mainly due to it blowing the link with Ernest Marples out of the water and also because I was just too lazy to go digging any further. In keeping with my position as patron of Campaign to Release Alternate Sorry to the Internet (CRASI), I will just grovel a bit, tell you all sorry and move on. Click to return

NOTE 2: Like it being the birthday of Leo Sayer and Mr T. I’m just not sure that it is fair to unleash these on a poor unsuspecting world. Should anybody be thinking of searching out some audio clips of Leo Sayer – I advise against it. Bleeding from the ears is no fun! Pity the Fool who tries. Click to return

Just a little cryptic something to get your synapses stretching a tad. If I have confused you, well, I’m sorry.

TECHNORATI TAGS : Birthday ; history ; On This Day ; Plato ; Cutty Sark.

Privileged Poor and Horsehair Pancakes

A member of the privileged poor?

My animated yeomen, I need to select a particularly woody word for my state of mind today. You see, I am in a quandary. You may remember, I did a short entry about the origins of April Fools Day and it seems it failed to match my usual high standards. It seems that Sean not only knew of the origins, but was able to follow my synaptic tangents.

As all of teachers never tired of telling me (well those that were not carted of to the technicians area in tears) – I must try harder. So I set you the following conundrum. Why have I described Sir Peter Ustinov as a member of the privileged poor and what is the connection to today (5th April 2007)?

There is a huge temptation to pause here and hand the stick of chalk over to Sean and repeat another favoured phrase of my teachers, but I won’t. (Note 1)

Today is the last Thursday before Easter, the day of the Last Supper. While we all remember the breaking of the bread and the taking of the wine that are now symbolically taken as part of Christian Communion Rite, another symbolic gesture was widely followed in the early church – that of washing the feet of the guests. (Note 2)

So it is on the Thursday before Easter, some churches run a “Mandatum" ceremony where the clergy wash the feet of twelve specially selected members of the congregation (I’m not sure I would want to be in charge of the selection process though).

In the past one of the downsides of Kingship in Britain was that you had to get involved in the feet washing thing at the local cathederal. This was part of Maundy Thursday ceremonies. This all died out in 1736 and the monarchs instead handed out alms to specially selected poor people (although again probably selected on their ability to smell like fresh paint and ability to look reasonably presentable). The monarch would hand out a donation equivalent to the monarch’s age in pence. As Queen Elizabeth (God Bless you ma’am) was 80 last year, she handed out 80p to the selected poor people.

For rather obvious reason this is known as Maundy Money.

All well and good I hear you yell, but what has this got to do with Sir Peter Ustinov?

Well, up until the 1970s, it was customary for Maundy Money to also be given to the youngest students in Westminster School - an independent school with fees around £16 800 per year. Sean has probably already guessed it, but Sir Peter Ustinov was a pupil at Westminster School – although I cannot say if he received Maundy Money.

So, there you have it. Maundy Money going to the poor. I feel within my rights of describing the students of Westminster as privileged. So Westminster students (including Sir Peter Ustinov maybe) who receive the Maundy Money must be the privileged poor.

All that remains is to explain the horsehair pancake. This is a tradition at Westminster School and is no way indicative of the standard of school dinners there. On Shrove Tuesday, a pancake reinforced with horsehair is tossed over a bar and students fight over it. The student gaining the greatest weight is given loan of a gold sovereign. You really can’t make this stuff up you know, I found this wonderful fact courtesy Wikipedia).

Oh, Sean? If I bored you, I’m sorry.

From 14th June 2006, the industry standard Crozzy Standard has been applied to footnotes.

NOTE 1: You may have gathered that for the most part, I had a rather uneasy relationship with my teachers at school. There was a certain tension in the air between us. They had this idea that I should accept what they say as absolute truth, while I believed that it was my duty to talk about anything but the matter in hand. My old geography teacher used to tried to counter this by handing me the chalk and saying “If you know so much, Holder, why don’t you teach the class?” Only he backed out when I rushed to the front with a look of glee on my face. Looking back on it, I think the teachers had the last laugh. Had I tried that little bit harder in school, I might now be feted as a “British-born actor, writer, dramatist, wit and raconteur” rather than a smart-arse. Click to return

NOTE 2: Personally this would kill any appetite I had for dinner. If I was honest, if I was invited anywhere it would kill the appetite of all my fellow guests as well as soon as I took my shoes off. Click to return

TECHNORATI TAGS : Peter Ustinov ; Maundy ; money ; history ; Synaptic ; Westminster.

And the Cat Still Won't Go Into the Shed

Corporate Branding taken to new lows?

Dear yeomen, as we hurtle down the carpool lane of life, we find ourselves at the signpost marking the start of a new month. As I stood at the window yesterday morning, sipping on a cup of the strong brown coffee that kick starts my day, I was able to watch as a tradition unfolded before me. I watched a couple of little boys gleefully running down the road being chased by their irate father, dressing gown gaping and waving a random kitchen utensil.

It is good to see tradition being maintained. For children of all ages, April 1st is a day when withheld allowances are the very least of our thoughts while we indulge in a few pranks for All Fools Day.

It does seem to be a very strange thing that on one particular day of the year, people are actually encouraged to lie and cheat. Plus, why on earth have I opened my entry with a picture of a piece of wood? Ah yes, as my longer serving yeomen have probably have already deduced, I’m off on synaptic tangents again.

On the 1st April, 1752, I wonder if George II had the general populace first celebrating and then roaring with laughter by declaring a public holiday and feasting between September 3rd to September 13th? (Note 1)

Sadly, I can find no record of such a royal April Fool jape. If history is to be believed, then it wouldn’t have been George II that would have been involved, but his Prime Minister, Henry Pelham, who also instigated a minimum age for getting married. All of this is very interesting, but doesn’t really help us with the synaptic tangents.

However, fiddling about with calendars has more to do with April Fools tradition than you may expect.

Back in 16th Century France, the start of the year was a thing for local interpretation. Some places chose to start the year at Easter, others at Christmas. Charles IX, the boy king, decided that it would be a good idea to have a standard start of the year on January 1st and issued the Edict of Roussilon which did just that (along with some rather boring bits concerning justice).

The French had the tradition of sending people New Year gifts. So when the date of the New Year changed, the date that presents got sent changed to. Of course, some of the French people didn’t particularly like the idea of change (and let’s face it change can be rather uncomfortable), So, to show their displeasure, they took to sending joke gifts and ‘paying calls of pretended ceremony’ (a bit like a joke first footing). (Note 2)

So there you have it a rambling explanation of why we play jokes on April 1st – or at least a rambling explanation of why I think we play jokes on April 1st.

Oh yes, the picture. Well, the great tradition of the prankster is slapstick humour -As the link above confirms so well. The opening picture is of a slapstick – the musical instrument from where this… errr… art form takes its name.

From 14th June 2006, the industry standard Crozzy Standard has been applied to footnotes.

NOTE 1: Because in 1752 the British Empire (of which Merkins were still part) finally decided to catch up with the rest of Europe and switch from the Julian Calendar to the Gregorian Calendar. In a rather pragmatic and wonderful switch over methodology they decided that there would be no September 3rd to September 10th that year. Thus denying the bulk of Virgos a birthday bash that year. Click to return

NOTE 2: In France you are not an ’April Fool’ but a ‘Poisson d’Avril’. I just through that I would throw that in. Just like I’ll lob in that Charles IX came to the throne aged 10, was in power for the massacre of Protestants on St. Bartholomew’s Day and is said to have died mad at the age of 24 Click to return

TECHNORATI TAGS : April Fools ; Calendar ; Slapstick ; history ; Synaptic ; Dracula.

A Tree Falls in the Forest

You are truly amazing!

You wonderful, fantastic yeomen have made the last few days an emotional journey for me. Thank you. Your responses to my blog on the rather nasty, tacky world of Vulture Funds has been incredible.

The response to the story has been huge and fantastic. I have received extra comments on my blog, there have been wonderful messages of support and so many of you have taken up the cudgel on this immoral practice. (Note 1).

As the weekend has gone on I have found more and more reading material, plus I have been blessed with support from friends and friends of friends on the subject – and it has been a really great experience. However, I should point out one misconception from the outset. I cannot claim any credit for starting anything. If anyone deserves credit for bringing this to public attention it is Greg Palast. You can also watch the original TV report from BBC Newsnight from his site.

In this rather emotional ramble, I am going to try and thank everyone who has responded to my call, give you a link to some of the people who have written their own articles or had their own ideas about the topic. I shall try to answer some of the questions I’ve had and respond to comments. I will also try to restore some balance by linking to some counter arguments. (Note 2)

The biggest problem is knowing where to start. The answer is with those who have made their own blog entries.

Sean produced an alternative slant on how to get your voice heard. As well as providing some useful links to how all you fine, concerned Merkins can contact your Senators and Representatives. He also provided some links to major news organisations and some standard letters to ‘cut & paste’ asking them to give the story some prominence. While I was waiting to fully come round this morning, I followed Sean’s lead and tried to email as many news organisations as I could think of. It is amazing how many hide away their contact details. Hidden in the comments section of this blog, Kerry suggested an email address for the White House of ‘comments@whitehouse.gov’. Visiting Sean’s blog also comes with the added bonus of some excellent photography and fine commentary – so you should check it out.

Another fine blog entry came from Fuzzy Slippers. As well as being well written (as are all her blogs – even if she does seem to have an unhealthy appetite for giant sprouts) there are some excellent links included both to learn more about the topic and to get your voice heard.

Despite being pipped in the contest for a Gold Star, (Note 3), Nikki D made a passionate plea for you all add your hoarse whisper to ours so that it becomes a roar. This plea being all the more heart warming because Nikki attended the “Make Poverty History” march back in 2005.

Kerry was one of the first to make her voice heard. She has set up a petition on ipetitions to highlight the problem. Anyone can sign this petition there are no exceptions – so if you haven’t already, please could you spare some time to add your name and comments?

There are others out there who have made the own contributions, updated blasts, signed petitions and fired off emails. All of which helps spread the word about this immoral practice – the more people who know about this the better!!! (Oh No!! I’ve taken to using multiple exclamation marks!!!! Someone pass the Dried Frog Pills, quick!!!!!).

Whatever your desiccated amphibian supplement of choice, the truth is that the powers will only take action if enough voices are heard. So the more people you can tell about this the better. So, please, spread the word.

If you haven’t already, please sign the ipetition - anyone can sign.

If you are a British resident or a British citizen living abroad, you can add your name to the petitions on the Number 10 website. Such is the delight of technology, there has ended up with more than one petition and you can find them here and here. If you can spare the time please sign both.

So where are we with all of this? Well, on the ipetition there are 53 signatures. On the Number 10 petitions there are 35 signatures on one petition and 24 on the other. In short – there is still more work to do! Hey, I even tried opening a question on Yahoo answers.

OK, I haven’t forgotten. I said I would offer you a counter argument on Vulture funds – well, here it is.

I shall end with a couple of other interesting links to the Jubilee Debt Campaign, a chance to email Donegal International to ask them not to collect the debt. Plus a chance to email Gordon Brown, the UK Chancellor (and some believe the next UK Prime Minister), to ask him to do something about it. I know I must be sounding boring now, but if you can spare the time… yackety, yackety.

Sorry I keep banging on about this, but my blood is still boiling.

From 14th June 2006, the industry standard Crozzy Standard has been applied to footnotes.

NOTE 1: This cudgel being a short heavy stick used to beat people rather Nightswerve’s Velvet Cudgel which has the effect of transporting you to idealised realities where it is highly unlikely that such things as Vulture Funds would ever get to see the light of day. Click to return

NOTE 2: Such is the response, I’m not sure I will ever be able to thank everyone individually for responding. Such is the amount of reading, I am not at all sure that I have seen all of the contributions to the debate. Such is the emotion, I doubt that I have been able to remain objective. Click to return

NOTE 3: Nikki should have been a shoo in for a Gold Star. Her stint as milk monitor saw one of the most efficient distributions of dairy products EVAR. Despite being on of the best pencil sharpeners in the 360 world, she still failed to get her reward. Even though she suffered this injustice she manages to think of others. Click to return

TECHNORATI TAGS : Vulture Funds ; petition ;debt ; Make Poverty History ; relief; Dracula.

Your Help Please

Will of the People versus Personal Profit.

Yesterday you got a very long rambling blog that talked about voting, democracy in action – and introduced you to the rather nasty, tacky world of Vulture Funds.

Well, my concerned yeomen, today I return to the topic. (Note 1)

You may not realise this, but when someone defaults on a debt, the person who is owed the money may decide that it is effectively lost and that they have no chance of seeing their money. Banks can call this bad debt and write it off against tax. (Note 2) Before they do this, the banks can pursue payment through various means including the courts and debt recovery agencies.

Another option is to sell the debt for pennies on the pound to another company who will then seek to recover the full amount of the debt plus expenses. These companies are forced to be more aggressive about collecting the debt.

The ‘Vulture Funds’ buy the really big debts from corporations and countries and then go after the debt very aggressively indeed using high powered lawyers and accountants.

The Make Poverty History campaign targeted the G8 Summit in Scotland when Tony Blair chaired the event. Bono and Bob Geldof managed to wring out some concessions from the leaders of the industrialized nations to provide debt relief for the poorest countries who were showing a commitment towards democracy and freedom.

Zambia was on nation that was identified as one of the beneficiaries of that Debt Relief – but that doesn’t worry the Vulture Funds.

The BBC Newsnight program broke the story how the Vulture Funds were putting all of that work at risk by going after the full amount of debts that were due to be written off. At the actual High Court Hearing, the judge found in favour of the Vulture Fund.

The ‘Vulture Funds effectively wiped out any of the benefits Zambia would feel from International debt Relief this year. Millions of Zambians would not see the benefits of improved infrastructure health care and education.

The owners of the Vulture Funds can rub their hands with glee as several millions dollars are added to the millions already in their bank accounts.

This is where I ask you nicely for your help (Pretty Please).

Kerry has set up a petition on ipetitions. Please could you spare some time to add your name and comments to the petition?

Stormscrossing left a comment in the original blog entry with some links to the Jubilee Debt Campaign. Among the interesting links he gave were a chance to email Donegal International to ask them not to collect the debt. Plus a chance to email Gordon Brown, the UK Chancellor (and some believe the next UK Prime Minister), to ask him to do something about it. It would be great if you could spare the time to add your name to those campaigns.

Then, you are a British resident (citizenship is not required), you can add your name to the petitions on the Number 10 website. Such is the delight of technology, there has ended up with more than one petition and you can find them here and here (There maybe more yet – I’ll keep the list updated).

IMPORTANT : The number 10 website sends you an email to confirm your email address. Some junk mail filters treat this email as spam. If you don’t get a confirmation email with a link to confirm your signature – please check in your junk mail folder!

Sorry for taking up so much of your time, but I feel this is important. I hope you do too.

From 14th June 2006, the industry standard Crozzy Standard has been applied to footnotes.

NOTE 1: You will be pleased to know that this does not take the form of a test as I threatened yesterday. This isn’t out of any misplaced goodwill on my part, but because I am going to ask you to pledge a little of your time and energy to try to get our leaders to take action. Click to return

NOTE 2: So if a bank does a really bad job of assessing risk on a loan or doesn’t check that the loan can be repaid properly, they end up paying less tax – which means that governments have to get tax revenue elsewhere. So when banks lend badly we end up paying more!. Click to return

TECHNORATI TAGS : Vulture Funds ; petition ;debt ; Make Poverty History ; relief; Dracula.