Accountants Forcing Vacation Memories

And the picture storm continues.

It seems, my venerated yeomen, that certain events cause you to look back wistfully to your last holiday. Today, I have been dealing with accountants. So perhaps it is no surprise that I find myself shouting “Infamy! Infamy! They’ve all got it in for me!” (Note 1) You may, especially if you are an accountant, believe this is fanciful paranoia on my part – but it doesn’t make it any the less true.

The stirrings of the memories reminded me that I have not bored you with photographs from my cruise in the Caribbean for some time. So, if you need reminding where we got to, go have a look here. So, if you are sitting comfortably and having difficulty sleeping – I’ll begin.

For those hardcore insomniacs amongst you, you may wish to find alternatives to ’What I did on my holidays.’ (Note 2), but undaunted, I shall plough on.

It isn’t much of a surprise for to learn that day five dawned with us approaching the Venezuelan island of Margherita. The feel of the island was so different from the Caribbean islands we had experienced up until then. There was more evidence of high rise buildings and there was a more industrious look to people on the dock. Though, as you can see from the shots taken on the approach, it wasn’t the most scenic of the islands. (Note 3)

I’d been quite looking forward to the visit to Margherita. After all, Venezuela tends to get a bit of a bad press from the Americans and I was hoping to get an idea as to what is really going on there. To be honest, there really wasn’t much chance to speak to the locals – and even less to talk politics. In the end we went on a ‘Natural Wonders’ tour of the island. In common to a lot of the islands visited, the major tourist attractions tend to be based around the natural environment.

The botanical gardens were interesting enough, but a little on the small side. The attitude towards the wildlife seemed a little cynical to our British eyes, but there are times when I think we tend to think more of our animals than we do for our fellow human beings. Not that I want to debate that just now.

We got to taste a few tropical fruits and sugar cane syrup, all very pleasant – but the earth didn’t move.

We then got taken to a small shopping complex and given the change to exchange our dollars for firewater. I ended up with abottle of orange flavoured rum and a bottle of coffee flavoured rum – at $12 a bottle not too bad. However, for those of you with a shopping bent, Margheriata had the cheapest seed pearl jewellery we experienced – if you were prepared to haggle. For a socialist state, Venezuela has embraced some elements of capitalism with glee.

The mangrove swamp tour was all rather sedate and somehow old fashioned. The facilities were basic as were the little boats that took us out into the swamp (which is really more like a big lake with clumps of submerged trees). The tour took us along a route that the locals had given a number of cute names like ‘lovers’ canal’ or ‘the virgins arch’ or some such. What surprised me was the distinct lack of any insects. I thought swamps were supposed to be crawling with them.

It was election time while we were there. The whole place was decked out in Chavez posters. (Note 4) What struck me most was how arid the island seemed after the previous places we visited. Despite the obvious lack of water, they were still building tower blocks and roads wherever we went.

So here endeth Day Five of what I did on my holidays. TO BE CONTINUED… (eventually).

From 14th June, the industry standard Crozzy Standard has been applied to footnotes.

NOTE 1: This being a quotation uttered by Kenneth Williams in the film Carry On Cleo. This brilliant one liner has just been voted as the best film one liner in a TV poll. Click to return

NOTE 2 : I have no doubt that some of you went and actually clicked on that rather strange link. It does make me wonder how long you explored that site. Yet when I was looking for that link, I came across a very disturbing old news item. Perhaps I should have just gone for an old favourite to wile away a few hours online and pointed you here. Click to return

NOTE 3: I don’t think I mentioned that the show the previous evening starred a scouse comic by the name of John Evans. It was a good show and funny (no doubt helped by the consumption of a few alcoholic bevereges). He could never claim to have a lot of modern material, but it was a good laugh. If only I could remember jokes, I’m sure I could have a damp patch on your chair. Click to return

NOTE 4: I did ask the guide if there were any other people standing in the election, but didn’t really get a straight answer. When I pushed the subject he said that everyone will vote for Chavez because he has stood up to the American oil companies. It didn’t seem to be a particularly comfortable topic for our guide – who was more interested in making sure that we came back again to spend more American dollars. Click to return

TECHNORATI TAGS : Margherita ; Tourism ; Travel ; Venezuela ; Caribbean ; Arcadia ; red1hols.

Passing Round the Snaps.

A different view every morning.

Well, my bloated yeomen, let me share with you a family tradition. On Boxing Day, after over indulging on the cold turkey, pickles, pease pudding, ham, sausages, various salads, mashed potato and anything else unwise enough to be lurking in the fridge, we collapse in the comfy chairs. There tends to be a period of minimal movement until the digestive processes reach a fairly advanced stage and the turkey sandwiches and mince pies make an appearance.

Quite early on, someone produces a strange shaped bottle of lurid coloured liquid and invites us to sample something they discovered on their holidays. (Note 1) As the liqueur destroys any brain cells stupid enough to be out and about during the festive season, someone produces their holiday snaps.

So, gird up your loins bold yeomen. It is time for the next instalment of ’What I did on my holidays.’

The first proper full day of the holiday saw us arrive in St. Lucia. (Note 2)

We docked in Castries, the capital of St Lucia. The harbour is a real contrast to Barbados and certainly is smaller. It became a habit with me on the trip to go out on the balcony every morning and to take a few pictures. The ones below are of Castries harbour (as is the title photo).

It is difficult to describe in words the sheer scale of the cruise ship. One turn around the promenade deck is one third of a mile. The ship is twelve stories high from dock level (amazing how easily you get into the habit of discounting those below decks).

We spent our day in St. Lucia on a tour of the island. Our chosen mode of transport was a catamaran – and judging from those who took mini bus tours we made a very wise choice given the state of the roads and the terrain of the island. (Note 3). For a small portion of the tour we did transfer to mini bus so I am talking from experience here!

Our first stopping off point was Soufriere. The town itself is built on the floor of an active volcano and has some interesting links to the French Revolution and to Napoleon. However, the tourist industry isn’t that sophisticated yet and this wasn’t really explored by the guides. Soufriere was quite a contrast to Castries. As soon as we arrived we were pestered by young boys begging. They dived from the dock and swam out to our boat offering to dive for coins. Wherever we went we were followed around by peddlars who all sold the same jewellery at the same price. As I said, the St Lucia tourism industry is unsophisticated. (Note 4)

Transferring to mini bus, we had a guided tour of the drive in volcano (tipping very much encouraged) and the botanical gardens.

After the tour it was back to the boat. We headed off to a beach for a Cajun meal and a swim. Oh and all the while, the crew served up free rum punch. Not that we could take much advantage of this as the delays in arriving meant that the Captain’s Reception had been held over so when we returned to the ship I would need to squeeze myself into my penguin outfit.

On the way back to the cruise ship, the catamaran did a quick tour of MARIGOT bay. This only served to reinforce my view that the people who really benefit from tourism in St Lucia are the foreign hotel chains.

There are no pictures of me in my penguin attire or of the Captain’s Reception. So here endeth Day Three of what I did on my holidays. TO BE CONTINUED…

From 14th June, the industry standard Crozzy Standard has been applied to footnotes.

NOTE 1: The really sad thing here is that the liquid is delivered with a strange haze rising off the glass. If you are unfortunate to get some on your skin, it goes a funny orange colour. It invariably tastes foul and reacts with one of the gherkins you ate earlier to produce the vilest wind. Yet the person with the bottle (and the one wearing the protective goggles and asbestos mittens) insists that it is an absolutely ‘wonderful’ concoction that the discovered in the most ‘delightful’ bar overlooking some church. They would have gone back, but they couldn’t remember their own names for 48 hours and when they did someone had moved the church. Click to return

NOTE 2 : I’m not going to recap why this was the first full day of the holiday. For those of my yeomen who don’t know, the reasons, they can be found HERE and HERE. Click to return

NOTE 3: I should point out that I have only included the small sized photographs from my Flickr account. Should you wish to see the larger pictures, simply click on the photographs and you will be magically transported! Well to Flickr if not St Lucia.Click to return

NOTE 4: The same cannot be said for foreign companies who have been quick to set up their brand of resorts on the island. There is one resort between the Piton mountains which is very exclusive charging thousands of dollars a night and importing white sand for its beach. There are no natural white sandy beaches on the island because of the active volcano which turns the sand gray. Click to return

TECHNORATI TAGS : St Lucia ; Tourism ; Travel ; Soufriere ; Caribbean ; Arcadia ; red1hols.