Showing posts with label Government. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Government. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

It's Supposed To End In My Mind, My Baby

Here is part 47 of “A Couple of Tenors Short”.

There is another quiz question associated with the part number. I’d never heard of the artists or the song, still, it’s a doddle if you know the answer.

OK, the quiz question out of the way, here is my mantra. This is a serial. Any new-joiners should start with the opener known as Part One.    

The troublesome recap has now settled into its new home. You can find the recap here!

Now read on...

Jones took half a step back towards the restaurant before shaking his head and walking slowly back towards the parked Datsun. As he walked, he examined the business card in his hand. It was the same as before, “Postulant Wayne Bright, Our Lady of the Assumption” with a mobile phone number.

“Not even an actual priest.” Jones said to the Datsun as he climbed in.

The Datsun gave a short “proop” as Jones tucked the card into a loose panel on the dashboard.

For the rest of the journey home, Jones stayed silent, ignoring various inquisitive noises from the car. When he reached his home, he remained in the car for a several minutes, staring blankly ahead at the back of Pippa’s Mercedes. At last he gave a sigh and with a quiet groan climbed out of the Datsun and went inside.

The house smelt of frying onions and cabbage. Jones threw his flying jacket over the banisters and headed for the lounge where he collapsed into an easy chair.

“You’re back!” Pippa peered around the door to the kitchen at Jones. “Dinner won’t be long. You relax and I’ll bring you a beer.

Jones kept his eyes closed and said nothing.

“You better switch on the news. There’s something you’ll want to see.” Pippa shouted from the kitchen.

The news channel was showing a crowd marching on Trafalgar Square with banners demanding a state funeral for Horace Adkins. The reporter on the ground was describing the mood as fun and good natured as the camera panned to a group dressed as Clement Atlee carrying a litter with bust of Horace Adkins made of recycled tin cans.

Pippa came in with the beer, handed it to Jones and sat on the arm of his chair.

“This lot were what me late home. I had to go the long way round.” Jones grumbled and took a sip of beer.

“This isn’t it.” Pippa ruffled his hair playfully.

The news station cut back to the studio and a stern faced newsreader dressed in a garish striped blazer with a clashing orange cravat. Behind him, a picture of Archie McRamie’s book, “The Cat Crowed at a Little After Two-thirty” came up on the graphic.

Jones choked on his beer and leaned forward.

The newsreader, in solemn tone, talked of a story that would appear in the next day’s Guardian newspaper that would allege that the events in the book were sanctioned at the very highest levels of Government and that the Prime Minister, Simon Cowell, had sanctioned them personally. 

“There, what do you make of that?” Pippa reached down to the remote control and turned off the television. “It turns out that Horace Adkins is a national hero.”

“You’ve changed your tune.” Jones looked up  at his wife. “On Monday you were linking Adkins to the macramĂ© trade.”

“Me?” Pippa’s voice was a high pitched squeak. “I would never do such a thing. Horace Adkins was such a wonderful man.”

Jones looked at her then sagged back into the chair. “Besides, I knew about Adkins working for the government. Joanne Schooner, Archie’s agent, told me all about it today. When I discussed it with somebody at the station, they already knew. It isn’t much of a surprise.”

“Really?” Pippa’s eryes widened, then narrowed. “Are you saying that people have been trying to hush this up?”

Jones gave a weak laugh and shook his head. “You and your conspiracy theories.”

“Goes with the territory, darling.” Pippa kissed him on the forehead. “So why was it that you gave such a start when you saw the story on the news?”

“Sorry, to disappoint, but I thought they were going to announce that Archie had been abducted and as you know, that story is being kept under wraps just in case it is a kidnapping.”

“Aha! I knew it, Archie has been kidnapped!” Pippa stood up and grinned.

Jones gave a tired laugh. “No, my love, we don’t know what has happened to Archie; just that he is missing, presumed abducted. Trust me, as soon as I having something to tell the press, you’ll be the first to know.”

Pippa observed Jones closely. “Just make sure that I am. Now come on, let’s eat. I’m famished.”

 

Thursday, July 01, 2010

It Doesn't Work, Nick!


This morning, I happened to notice a BBC News item reporting that Nick Clegg, on behalf of the UK Government has launched a consultation with the British public over ways to improve freedoms and reduce the numbers of laws and regulations that have an impact on our lives.



Having found my thoughts continually returning to how businesses behave, I took this to be a wonderful opportunity to share my thoughts on ethical corporate taxation, so I signed up



For those with an infinite supply of patience, you can actually see my offering on the Government’s Freedom site here.  For those of you with lesser patience, I have made a copy of it and placed it here.



Those of you who went and read my copy of the entry on my blogspot site can go away and make themselves a cup of tea, maybe bake themselves a cake and reorganise their sock drawer. It might be a while before those who went to the Government site rejoin us.



OK, if everyone is back, then I’ll continue.



You might have guessed that I was less than impressed by the implementation of the site. It is poorly laid out, slow and is rather sloppily tested. For something that is supposed to be capable of conducting a comprehensive consultation with the British public, it leaves a lot to be desired.  

While I had hoped to spark off an intelligent debate over an innovative way for rewarding ethical standards in business, I find my contribution consigned to the bubbling swamp of yet another poorly designed and hurriedly implemented government IT system.



If you like a good political conspiracy theory, this hands you one on a silver platter. This particular initiative is fronted by Nick Clegg, Deputy Prime Minister and leader of the Liberal Democrats, the junior party in the coalition government. On the home page of the site you are greeted by his smiling face and chirpy little video introduction. I hate to say it Nick, but I reckon that the Tories took one look at the site and decided that they didn’t want their names tarnished by this amateurish software. Face it, lad, you’ve been stitched up, if not by your coalition partners, then by some second rate software development outfit who probably charged you a fortune for the privilege!



It is highly unlikely that Nick Clegg or any of his advisors will actually read any of this. Yet just in case they doubt the damage done to both the initiative and their reputation, consider this: If the software was any good and the website was actually fit for purpose, this blog post would have been all about how wonderful it is to have a government that consults and the fantastic advantages behind ethical based taxation – instead it is all about another failure in Government IT and the egg all over Clegg!  



In short, Nick – IT ISN’T WORKING FOR ME!